{"id":843,"date":"2026-08-06T19:00:00","date_gmt":"2026-08-06T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lovano-dating.com\/?p=843"},"modified":"2026-08-06T03:07:56","modified_gmt":"2026-08-06T01:07:56","slug":"first-message-ideas-that-are-better-than-hi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lovano-dating.com\/de\/2026\/08\/06\/first-message-ideas-that-are-better-than-hi\/","title":{"rendered":"First Message Ideas That Are Better Than \u201cHi\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"
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    First Message Ideas That Are Better Than \u201cHi\u201d<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t
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    You find an interesting profile, decide to send a message, and then face the most difficult question:<\/p>

    What should you say?<\/p>

    Many online dating conversations begin with a simple \u201cHi,\u201d \u201cHey,\u201d or \u201cHow are you?\u201d There is nothing wrong with being friendly, but these messages often make it difficult to start a memorable conversation.<\/p>

    The person receiving your message may already have several similar greetings in their inbox. When a message does not offer a topic or question, they also have to do all the work of moving the conversation forward.<\/p>

    A good first message does not need to be clever, perfect, or extremely original. It should simply show that you paid attention, give the other person something easy to respond to, and create an opportunity for a natural conversation.<\/p>

    Here are first-message ideas that can help you make a stronger impression than \u201cHi.\u201d<\/p>

    Why Your First Message Matters<\/h2>

    Your first message is not only an introduction. It gives the other person a small impression of your personality and communication style.<\/p>

    A thoughtful message can show that you are:<\/p>

    • genuinely interested in their profile<\/li>
    • confident enough to start a conversation<\/li>
    • curious about their personality<\/li>
    • willing to make an effort<\/li>
    • looking for more than a quick reaction<\/li><\/ul>
      \u00a0<\/div>

      You do not need to write a long paragraph. In many cases, one or two personalised sentences are enough.<\/p>

      The best opening messages usually contain three simple elements:<\/p>

      1. A reference to something in the profile<\/li>
      2. A little personality from you<\/li>
      3. An easy question or invitation to reply<\/li><\/ol>

        Zum Beispiel:<\/p>

        \u201cYou mentioned that you love weekend trips. What is the best spontaneous trip you have ever taken?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        This message is simple, personal, and easy to answer.<\/p>

        1. Ask About Something in Their Profile<\/h2>

        The easiest way to write a better opening message is to use information the person has already shared.<\/p>

        Look at their biography, interests, profile prompts, photos, travel experiences, music preferences, pets, or hobbies.<\/p>

        Zum Beispiel:<\/p>

        \u201cI saw that you enjoy hiking. Do you prefer peaceful mountain routes or difficult trails with an amazing view at the end?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cYou mentioned that you love cooking. What is the one dish you would confidently make for a first date?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cYour profile says you are learning Spanish. What made you decide to start?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        These messages show that you did more than look at the first photograph.<\/p>

        2. Ask About a Travel Photo<\/h2>

        Travel photographs create easy and positive conversation starters.<\/p>

        Instead of only writing \u201cNice photo,\u201d ask about the story behind it.<\/p>

        Zum Beispiel:<\/p>

        \u201cThat beach in your second photo looks incredible. Where was it taken?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cYour mountain picture looks like a real adventure. Was the view worth the climb?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cYou seem to travel often. Which place surprised you the most?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cChoose one: a weekend in Rome, a beach in Greece, or a road trip through Portugal?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        Travel questions often lead naturally into conversations about food, culture, future plans, and memorable experiences.<\/p>

        3. Use a Profile Detail to Make a Playful Question<\/h2>

        A light and playful question can help the conversation feel relaxed.<\/p>

        Zum Beispiel:<\/p>

        \u201cYou say you make the best homemade pizza. That is a serious claim\u2014what is your secret topping?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cI noticed you are a coffee expert. What would you order for someone who normally chooses the safest option on the menu?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cYour profile says you are very competitive. Should I be worried if we ever play a board game?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cYou describe yourself as spontaneous. What is the most spontaneous thing you have done recently?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        The goal is not to perform a comedy routine. A small amount of humour is usually enough.<\/p>

        4. Ask for a Recommendation<\/h2>

        People often enjoy sharing their opinions and recommendations.<\/p>

        This makes recommendation questions excellent conversation starters.<\/p>

        Zum Beispiel:<\/p>

        \u201cI need a new series to watch. What is one show you would recommend without hesitation?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cYou seem to know a lot about music. Which song should I add to my playlist today?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cI saw that you love restaurants. What is the best meal you have had recently?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cI want to discover a new weekend destination. Where would you send me?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        These questions are easy to answer and allow the other person to share something they genuinely enjoy.<\/p>

        5. Start With a This-or-That Question<\/h2>

        A simple choice can be more interesting than a general question.<\/p>

        Zum Beispiel:<\/p>

        \u201cImportant first question: beach holiday or city break?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cCoffee date, dinner date, or a long walk somewhere beautiful?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cEarly mornings or late nights?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cWould you rather plan every part of a holiday or arrive and decide everything spontaneously?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cLive concert or quiet evening with a great playlist?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        After they answer, share your own choice and explain why. This prevents the conversation from feeling like an interview.<\/p>

        6. Mention a Shared Interest<\/h2>

        When you discover something you both enjoy, use it.<\/p>

        Zum Beispiel:<\/p>

        \u201cI saw that you love live music too. What was the best concert you have ever attended?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cAnother person who enjoys Sunday morning walks\u2014I already think your weekends sound better than mine. Where is your favourite place to go?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cYou like Italian food and spontaneous trips, so your profile is already making a strong argument. Which one matters more?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cI noticed we both enjoy photography. What do you prefer taking pictures of?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        Shared interests create an immediate sense of familiarity and give you a topic that can continue beyond the first message.<\/p>

        7. Ask About Their Ideal Day<\/h2>

        Questions about an ideal day reveal personality without becoming too serious.<\/p>

        Zum Beispiel:<\/p>

        \u201cWhat would your perfect Sunday look like from morning until evening?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cYou have an entire day free with no responsibilities. How are you spending it?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cWhat is your ideal combination: good food, good company, and what else?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cWhat would make an ordinary weekend feel perfect to you?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        These questions can reveal whether someone enjoys adventure, relaxation, social activities, nature, nightlife, or quiet time at home.<\/p>

        8. Respond to a Profile Prompt<\/h2>

        Many dating profiles include prompts such as \u201cMy perfect first date,\u201d \u201cA fact about me,\u201d or \u201cThe way to win me over.\u201d<\/p>

        Do not ignore them. They were included to help people begin conversations.<\/p>

        For example, when someone writes, \u201cThe way to win me over is good food,\u201d you could say:<\/p>

        \u201cWhat kind of good food are we talking about? Homemade pasta, sushi, or something involving dessert?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        When someone writes, \u201cI will never say no to an adventure,\u201d you could say:<\/p>

        \u201cWhat qualifies as an adventure for you\u2014a last-minute flight or trying a new restaurant without reading the reviews?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        When someone writes, \u201cMy unusual talent is remembering song lyrics,\u201d you could say:<\/p>

        \u201cThat sounds useful until someone starts testing you. Which song could you perform from beginning to end right now?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        9. Ask About Their Pet<\/h2>

        Pets are often one of the easiest and warmest conversation topics.<\/p>

        Zum Beispiel:<\/p>

        \u201cYour dog looks like the real owner of the profile. What is their name?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cI need to know: did your cat approve that photo, or was it taken without permission?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cYour dog looks ready for an adventure. What is their favourite place to go?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cBe honest\u2014who gets more attention on dating apps, you or your pet?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        Keep the focus respectful. The message should feel friendly rather than like you are only interested in the animal.<\/p>

        10. Use a Photo to Ask About the Story Behind It<\/h2>

        An interesting photograph usually has a story.<\/p>

        Zum Beispiel:<\/p>

        \u201cYour third photo looks like something memorable happened that day. What is the story behind it?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cYou look very happy in that festival photo. Who were you there to see?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cThat picture with the bicycle looks serious. Is cycling a hobby or a complete lifestyle?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cThe food in your photo looks amazing. Did you make it yourself?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        This approach can feel more personal than commenting only on someone\u2019s appearance.<\/p>

        11. Give a Specific and Respectful Compliment<\/h2>

        Compliments can work well when they feel genuine and are not overly intense.<\/p>

        Instead of writing only \u201cYou are beautiful,\u201d mention something more specific.<\/p>

        Zum Beispiel:<\/p>

        \u201cYou have a very warm smile. Your profile feels genuinely positive.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cYour style in the second photo is great. Was that taken at a special event?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cI like how enthusiastic you sound when you write about travelling. Which trip is next?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cYour profile made you seem very easy to talk to, so I thought I should test that theory.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        A compliment works best when it leads into a conversation rather than ending the message.<\/p>

        Avoid sexual comments or comments about someone\u2019s body in the first message. Even when you intend them as compliments, they can feel intrusive or disrespectful.<\/p>

        12. Start With a Fun Challenge<\/h2>

        A small challenge can make your message stand out.<\/p>

        Zum Beispiel:<\/p>

        \u201cDescribe your perfect weekend using only three words.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cYou can choose one country to visit tomorrow. Where are we going?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cRecommend one song, one film, and one place everyone should visit.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cTell me one thing about you that I would never guess from your profile.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cYou have thirty seconds to convince me that your favourite food is the best. Go.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        These messages are playful while still giving the other person freedom to answer in their own way.<\/p>

        13. Ask About Something They Are Proud Of<\/h2>

        This creates a positive and more meaningful conversation.<\/p>

        Zum Beispiel:<\/p>

        \u201cWhat is something you have achieved recently that made you proud?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cYou mentioned starting your own business. What inspired you to take that step?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cYour profile shows a lot of creative interests. Which project have you enjoyed the most?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cWhat is one skill you worked hard to learn?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        These questions may be better after a lighter introduction, but they can work well when the person\u2019s profile already mentions personal goals or achievements.<\/p>

        14. Ask a Question About Food<\/h2>

        Food is universal, easy to discuss, and often connected to travel, family, and culture.<\/p>

        Zum Beispiel:<\/p>

        \u201cWhat is your ultimate comfort food?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cYou can only choose one for the rest of the year: pizza, pasta, or tacos?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cWhat meal would immediately convince you that a first date was going well?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cWhat is one food everyone seems to love but you cannot understand?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cAre you the person who orders the same favourite meal every time or always tries something new?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        Food questions can easily lead to ideas for a future date without making plans too quickly.<\/p>

        15. Ask About Music<\/h2>

        Music reveals mood, personality, memories, and lifestyle.<\/p>

        Zum Beispiel:<\/p>

        \u201cWhich song always improves your mood?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cWhat is the best live performance you have ever seen?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cYou are responsible for the road-trip playlist. Which song plays first?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cYour profile says you love electronic music. Which artist should I listen to next?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cWhat is one song you secretly love but would never normally admit?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        When they answer, respond with your own choice. Conversations become stronger when both people contribute.<\/p>

        16. Ask About Their Weekend<\/h2>

        Instead of the generic \u201cHow was your weekend?\u201d make the question more specific.<\/p>

        Zum Beispiel:<\/p>

        \u201cWhat was the best part of your weekend?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cDid your weekend involve adventure, relaxation, or recovering from the week?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cYou have a completely free Saturday. What are you doing?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cWhat is your favourite way to spend a Sunday?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        These questions encourage a more detailed answer than \u201cGood, thanks.\u201d<\/p>

        17. Use Their Location as a Conversation Starter<\/h2>

        When someone lists their city or region, ask for a local recommendation.<\/p>

        Zum Beispiel:<\/p>

        \u201cYou are from Valencia\u2014what is one place there that visitors usually miss?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cI have never been to your city. What would you show me first?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cWhat is the best thing about living where you live?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cYour area looks beautiful. Are you more interested in the busy city side or the quieter places nearby?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        Avoid questions that ask for precise personal locations, such as their home address, workplace, or daily routine.<\/p>

        18. Try a Confident but Friendly Introduction<\/h2>

        Sometimes directness works well.<\/p>

        Zum Beispiel:<\/p>

        \u201cYour profile caught my attention, especially your love of travel and live music. I would like to get to know you\u2014what destination is currently at the top of your list?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cYou seem interesting, so I did not want to send another boring \u2018Hi.\u2019 What is something you could talk about for hours?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cI think we might have a few things in common. What is the best way to find out?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        Confidence should feel warm and respectful, not demanding.<\/p>

        19. Use Light Humour<\/h2>

        Humour can help, but it should match the information in the profile.<\/p>

        Zum Beispiel:<\/p>

        \u201cI was going to write a perfectly impressive opening message, but apparently this is what we are working with instead. What made you smile today?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cYour profile says you love terrible jokes. I may finally have found the right audience.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cI noticed you enjoy cooking, so I have one important question: how forgiving are you when someone burns the garlic bread?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        Avoid jokes that insult the person, make fun of their appearance, or rely on stereotypes.<\/p>

        20. Ask Something Unexpected but Easy<\/h2>

        An unusual question can break the normal dating-app routine.<\/p>

        Zum Beispiel:<\/p>

        \u201cWhat is a very small thing that always makes your day better?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cWhat is one experience you think everyone should have at least once?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cWhich fictional world would you happily live in for a week?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cWhat is the most useful thing you have learned this year?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cWhat is something you are looking forward to right now?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        The question should be interesting without feeling too personal for a first message.<\/p>

        First Messages for Different Types of Profiles<\/h2>

        Different profiles may require different approaches.<\/p>

        For a profile with very little information<\/h3>

        When the biography is almost empty, use a broad but interesting question:<\/p>

        \u201cYour profile is keeping a few secrets. What is one thing I should know about you?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cYou have left me with very little material, so I will start with an important question: perfect weekend at home or spontaneous trip?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cLet us skip the standard \u2018Hi.\u2019 What is something you are genuinely excited about at the moment?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        For a travel-focused profile<\/h3>

        \u201cYou have visited some incredible places. Which trip changed your perspective the most?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cWhich destination looked better in real life than it did in the photos?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        For a funny profile<\/h3>

        \u201cYour profile made me laugh, which already puts you ahead of most people here. Are you always this entertaining?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cI appreciate the sense of humour. What is your best completely unnecessary talent?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        For a serious or thoughtful profile<\/h3>

        \u201cI liked what you wrote about valuing honest communication. What do you think makes a conversation genuinely meaningful?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cYour profile feels refreshingly sincere. What quality do you value most in another person?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        For a livestreamer or creator<\/h3>

        \u201cI saw that you enjoy going live. What kind of conversations do you enjoy having most with your audience?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        \u201cYour livestream content looks interesting. What inspired you to start creating?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        First Messages to Avoid<\/h2>

        A message does not need to be perfect, but some approaches can make the other person uncomfortable or less likely to reply.<\/p>

        Try to avoid:<\/p>

        Only writing \u201cHi\u201d<\/h3>

        It gives the other person no topic to respond to and places the full responsibility for the conversation on them.<\/p>

        Sending only an appearance-based compliment<\/h3>

        Messages such as \u201cBeautiful\u201d or \u201cYou are hot\u201d may feel generic, especially when there is nothing else in the message.<\/p>

        Starting with sexual comments<\/h3>

        Sexual remarks, explicit questions, or comments about someone\u2019s body are rarely appropriate as a first introduction.<\/p>

        Copying and pasting the same message<\/h3>

        People can often recognise when a message has been sent to many profiles. Personalisation shows more genuine interest.<\/p>

        Asking for private information immediately<\/h3>

        Do not ask for a phone number, address, workplace, or social-media account before a basic level of trust has developed.<\/p>

        Writing an extremely long introduction<\/h3>

        A first message should start a conversation, not deliver your entire life story.<\/p>

        Making demands<\/h3>

        Messages such as \u201cReply if you are serious\u201d or \u201cProve you are not boring\u201d can feel aggressive rather than confident.<\/p>

        Sending several messages without a reply<\/h3>

        Give the person time. A repeated sequence of questions, emojis, or question marks can create pressure.<\/p>

        What Should You Do If They Reply?<\/h2>

        A good opening message is only the beginning.<\/p>

        When they answer, avoid immediately moving to an unrelated question. Respond to what they said and develop the topic.<\/p>

        Zum Beispiel:<\/p>

        Your first message:<\/strong><\/p>

        \u201cYou mentioned that you love Italy. Which city would you visit again immediately?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        Their reply:<\/strong><\/p>

        \u201cDefinitely Florence. The food and atmosphere were amazing.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        A natural response:<\/strong><\/p>

        \u201cFlorence is high on my list. Was there one restaurant or place that made the trip especially memorable?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        You can also share something about yourself:<\/p>

        \u201cFlorence is high on my list. I visited Rome a few years ago and spent far too much time searching for the best pasta.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        This creates a balanced exchange rather than a series of questions.<\/p>

        How Long Should Your First Message Be?<\/h2>

        There is no perfect length, but shorter is usually better.<\/p>

        One or two sentences are often enough:<\/p>

        \u201cYour photo from Iceland looks incredible. Was that your favourite destination, or is there somewhere even better?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        The message shows attention, includes a topic, and ends with a clear question.<\/p>

        Longer messages may be appropriate when the profile contains something genuinely meaningful that you would like to address. However, avoid overwhelming someone before the conversation has even started.<\/p>

        Should You Use Emojis?<\/h2>

        Emojis can make a message feel warmer and more playful, but they are not necessary.<\/p>

        One relevant emoji can work well:<\/p>

        \u201cThat hiking photo looks amazing. Was reaching the top worth it? \"\ud83c\udfd4\ufe0f\"\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>

        Avoid filling the message with so many emojis that the meaning becomes difficult to understand.<\/p>

        The best approach is to match the person\u2019s communication style. When their profile is playful and uses emojis, they may appreciate them. When their profile feels calm and serious, a simple text message may fit better.<\/p>

        What If They Do Not Reply?<\/h2>

        Even a thoughtful first message will not always receive a response.<\/p>

        The person may be inactive, already speaking with someone else, overwhelmed by messages, or simply not feel the connection they are looking for.<\/p>

        A missing reply does not automatically mean your message was bad.<\/p>

        You can send one friendly follow-up after a reasonable amount of time when the conversation appeared promising. However, avoid repeatedly contacting someone who has not shown interest.<\/p>

        Online dating involves timing and compatibility as well as communication.<\/p>

        The purpose of a strong first message is not to guarantee a reply. It is to give the right person a genuine reason to begin a conversation.<\/p>

        The Best First Message Sounds Like You<\/h2>

        You do not need a perfect line copied from the internet.<\/p>

        The most effective message will feel natural coming from you. It can be funny, thoughtful, direct, curious, or relaxed.<\/p>

        Pay attention to the profile. Find one detail that genuinely interests you. Ask a question you would actually like to hear the answer to.<\/p>

        That is usually enough.<\/p>

        A meaningful conversation rarely begins with the most impressive sentence ever written.<\/p>

        It begins when one person shows real interest and the other feels comfortable responding.<\/p>

        Start Better Conversations on Lovano<\/h2>

        Lovano is being developed to create more opportunities for genuine communication and real interaction.<\/p>

        Profiles, community features, international discovery, and livestreams can help members find natural conversation starters and discover more about the person behind the photographs.<\/p>

        Instead of sending another automatic \u201cHi,\u201d take a moment to be curious.<\/p>

        One thoughtful message could become the beginning of a great conversation\u2014and perhaps something much more meaningful.<\/p>

        Bleibe mit Lovano verbunden<\/h2>

        Subscribe to the Lovano newsletter for dating advice, conversation ideas, community updates, new feature announcements, and exclusive Lovano news.<\/p>

        Subscribe now and become part of the Lovano journey.<\/strong><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t

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        Sei ein Teil der Lovano Reise<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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